homesick

Homesick, sick of home. What's the difference? At this point of my life, none, except that those are two different homes. And a simple Quick Easy-N-Fast Chocolate Chip Pie recipe cured this sickness.

After I place my first pie crust into the pie pan, my forehead loosened for the first time today. This was 3:40pm.

After all, ones very first pie crust is much more rewarding than paying for a commercial whole.

Before this moment, I had a long mental sorrowful list of perfect topics for tonight. All are remnants of the homesickness and the suppressed regret. It does get old even to me. So, I will not be writing about it now, despite the aptness of the murky sunset.

As soon as the pie was filled with the quick and easy and not-so-fast-in-my-case filling, abrakadabra! (my oven's magic spell brought about a piece of crumbly and surprisingly soft in the inside foreign round... thing... seemingly suitable for human consumption), I stepped out for a hike up at the landfill hills. It was there where I made a better piece for writing tonight. If I remember it right, it was of witty, sarcastic and obviously defensive thoughts about my sorrow. I can't remember what they were exactly except that I was really amused.

Hmmmmmmm....oh! I remember concluding one thing.

People who blog and who are in facebook are individuals who don't always have someone they can brag to, hate with, or feel any of those conscience-and-shame-provoking emotions - which make us humans and not gods, by the way - without feeling some kind of discomfort. Or simply put, no true friends. And yes, I am one of them.

I never felt the need to use that what's in your mind space in facebook. I never wanted to write because I'm not a good writer. When I wanted to do something productive, I thought of blogging. But still, I'm not a good writer. No motivation at all until I felt the need to think, to feel and to express as a lone ranger in the desert. Well, at least there's my Geoffy and the world wide web to keep me company.

And it was days like this which bottled up in me that lead me to this salvation.

road remnants

Beautiful! The sky was just beautiful at 10:30pm. The stars where shimmering with all their might with nothing that hinders its exposition. Beautiful! That's one of the few things I appreciate about small towns. Artificial lights are minimal, and so nature outshines. Who doesn't love a silent night with a glimmering dark sky?

Sunset was as breathtaking. Seven-thirty at night, I stepped back out of the house without my running shoes, and with my camera and jacket. Walked my way out from the town center where grass were still green and red at winter, not that it matters now. But the point is, it is a simple and humble extravagance of nature from the sand landscape, to the chaotic green-yellow-red grass, to the few lone trees, to the melodic birds, to the polite river, to the bouncy yet bashful bunny, to the white mountains that mirrors the brown dull ones that forms a perfect silhouette as the friendly sun shies away at night after it explodes its rich beauty to the lovely blue sky and the capricious clouds. It is a perfect spot to find peace and happiness.

(Boy! You can tell I'm feeling good today.)

As cheerful as it seems, this day was as flighty as the clouds. It seemed like a 24-hour gentle attack of all kinds of emotions. But tonight, I chose to remember the one that lightens up this darkness. It is a blur, yes. But what it makes me feel is very distinct.

rush hour

Sunset day 1 it is.

Ok. Ok. This is not sunset. I was an hour late. Well, I had some visitors, and it involved human interaction which I prefer more than interacting with my camera and the sky. This doesn't happen often to me these days, so, you understand my priority.

So, how was 'sunset' today? Since 3pm, I had been looking forward to capture the sunset and to write on this page, my very first official blog. And then I realized that I didn't know how to go about this. Well, I still don't. You'll be reading nonsensical and pointless statements for the next 5 minutes.

Anyhow, I was cooking dinner during sunset for my beloved visitors, and was holding on to a chance of miracle that would teleport me to my favorite sunset spot or spots. And no such miracle happened. My head was mostly sticking out the window looking for the beautifully dyed sky among the roofs and the trees. Well, it won't be that bad missing my first sunset for the blog. I was having fun making quick dinner for my friends anyway. It still would be a piece of glee worth sharing. And so darkness came, and that tad bit of hope I was trying to suppress was repressed smoothly.

The night went on. Dinner was almost ready. Disappointment has surfaced. My first actual purposeful project for months that I really want , and I failed the very first day.

And ...

and ...

Circumstances forced me to drive out of the house. And yes, I grabbed the chance to capture that meager piece of sunlight resting on the horizon. This horizon is a perfect imagery of this town, of my day, and of hope.

kick off

Hello to my first official diary! I hope to have a long-term relationship with you. I am not into writing, but I am very expressive, verbally normally. Since nobody is around to listen to my daily mundane activities, you shall be the recipient of them all. The best part of this relationship is you can't complain. As they say, give-and-take is a key to a successful bond. So, I give, you take. Perfect!

Mockery aside, this blog is dedicated to the rest of my life. It shall contain brief descriptions and glints of emotions - of happiness, i hope, of my daily existence. It will be accompanied with a photo of the sunset day by day. I am situated at this part of the world for 8 months now, and have noticed the beautiful kaleidoscope sunsets just couple of weeks ago. Since then, I look forward every afternoon to see how the sky and the clouds are patterned and painted uniquely. And have always tried to capture them realistically with my camera, and almost always ended up editing them. Although, they turn out as beautifully as I would remember them, or how I felt watching them. As this became a habit of mine, I decided to make it a project aimed to share the glee or the woe that I feel seeing this simple yet magnificent daily phenomenon that people are missing because of their busy momentous lives.

I hope that the photos will have the same effect on you as it has on me. To be exact, it makes me breathe deeply, hear the wind blow, listen to the leaves chatter, and feel the sentiment of my heart. And so, I get to know me a tad better every time.

In addition to the sunsets, I also aim to post a dish or a dessert that I prepare during the day. Cooking/Baking draws me out of the human world and brings me into the ideal world of the Stepford wives. And so I'd have an excuse to be away from reality, and be a mere luscious-brownie-producing robot. As much as I want to do this daily, I do not oblige myself.

But you'll surely read about a little something else besides the sunset. =)

Well, I guess my hello to my diary and to the virtual world has been too long already. I'll dismiss you with a bucket of happiness and a wish to enjoy every ride you take.

And, oh! Thanks for taking the time. =>